dates with trees.

I could make a 4/20 induced excuse for why I was unable to write yesterday...but that would be too silly.

So here are some other rather legitimate reasons for my lack of postage yesterday...

I was kidnapped by narcoleptic clowns who fell asleep juuuussst after they successfully tied me up with deflated balloon animals, and when I say successful, I mean, I was totally and completely incapacitated....no, no, that wasn't it.

I was assaulted by a hermaphroditic mime, which sent me into a fit of hysterics, and I therefore spent my day rocking in the corner trying to expunge the wicked images from my mind....ok, no, that definitely wasn't it.

A torrential downpour of amateur trapeze swingers fell on my head and knocked me out. I was unconscious for a remarkably accurate 24 hours. Ok, I suppose that wasn't it either.

Although a myriad of circus associated freak accidents did not keep me from writing, something did, for there's a day missing already in my daily web savvy journal.

I'm just going to meekly apologize and move on.

Excuses are for ninnies.

Here's a photo of my epic 90's attire...

...I know you've all been desperately waiting, biting your haggard nails in anticipation...

BAM!

And yes, that backwards cap has my name airbrushed on it. So very 90's. Right? I mean, I did purchase it from one of those kiosks at Six Flags Magic Mountain when I was 12, so you can't really get more authentic than that.

I'd also like to point out that the previous owner of this epic jacket had the surname McCauley. Just one letter off. Sweet destiny, thank you for doing that thing you do and introducing me to this magical find.

In other news, I went on a date with nature yesterday. It's a common misconception that nature is a woman, considering she's a mother, but who's to say there's not a separate entity entirely masculine in NATURE and therefore man enough to date me. There was a third party involved, a certain new best friend of mine named Cassie, so I could say I double-dated with nature yesterday, or was two-timed by nature, I haven't decided which,  but we've already made plans to meet again next week. Those trees really had their eyes on me. It must be something to do with my legs or maybe my solid (or not so solid) trunk. Needless to say, it was a most pleasurable experience all around. We went out for eight miles and although there was a counteractive decline for every incline in the conversation, we got along just fine. Hence the second date.

No, for reals though. The hike was exceptional. I felt like I was wandering through the pages of The Secret Garden. We walked through cloud forests with occasional sloppy wet kisses compliments of the dew covered branches. We had a few close encounters with giant butterflies and giant lizards. Yes, giant. And our trek back down the mountain was akin to that of evading demise inside a video game. Comical, thrilling, yet potentially fatal. We ran a race against the clock, and made it down without injury, thereby proving that we both have very strong ankles.

The outdoors awaken my soul. It feels good to climb out from the dark hole that is my current means of gainful employment. Good thing I've got that second date comin' up to look forward to.


I bid you adieu fair readers. Until tomorrow...