Raving Ranter.

While I was away at camp, blinkers became obsolete.

I honestly believe this to be true, from the bottom of my fiercely road-raging heart.

While I was away at camp, I became a bad driver. Or maybe I always was one. But more and more I'm deciding that I probably piss people off more with my driving than they piss me off with their driving...(I couldn't really figure out how to say this without confusing you, so good luck figuring out what I meant). And people piss me off a lot with their driving.

Because I have road rage.

I'm impatient. I have a lead foot. Which means I speed up, only to stop suddenly, only to narrowly avoid rear-ending and being rear-ended. I without fail whisper, speak, and shout at least a dozen obscenities during each of my encounters with a moving vehicle.

A lot of the streets are narrow here in Santa Barbara. So narrow only one car can fit through at a time. I'm always the first one to go. The roads are windy. Sometimes I cut corners because it's faster.

Both of these burdensome street attributes accounts for the outrageous amount of head on collisions I've narrowly avoided.

I'm making myself sound like an atrocious driver simply so I don't have to feel guilty for complaining about this atrocity that has struck our country, or maybe just my region of the country, with such magnitude that it can only be constituted as an act of God. God, why would you do this to me?

Why would you smite everyone into submission so that they might conspire against me...conspire against me and make a unanimous decision...to never use blinkers again.

Honestly, my biggest pet peeve, the biggest one within my entire existence, is that of people neglecting to use their blinkers.

I don't remember how many times I've almost been in an accident due to people's lack of flicking.

That's all it takes. A simple flick of the finger to flip on the blinker. Flick. Aaannnd done. Accident avoided. Good Samaritan recognition for not only obeying the law but for exercising common courtesy in warning the person both behind me, and in front of me, that yes, I am indeed going to make a turn, or change lanes. Nothing lost. Everything gained. Where did the expression Good Samaritan come from anyways...biblically, Samaritans are bad. Right? Moving on...

Today I did something I'm not very proud of. I let the lack of blinkerage get to me. And I flashed my brights on a car who was driving in front of me, that turned without using their blinker.

Again, I'm not proud. I'm aware that I shouldn't follow so closely as to be bothered when people turn without using their blinkers. If I were to give the allotted three car's length distance between my bumper and his, his lack of blinker wouldn't have offended me so coarsely, end resulting in my overall dignity-checking bright-flashing incident.

If that makes any sense.

But still.

It's the principle of the matter.

We have blinkers on our vehicles for a reason.

Thus, we should use them.

I commend people like you William Anthony Beatty-Tinsay, for using your blinker at camp, even when everyone else made fun of you, even when you were simply turning into your parking spot outside the intern condo, because people like you significantly reduce the amount of slightly slurred curse words that splash out of my mouth whenever I'm driving.

And in other news, I bought a book called "Stuff Christians Like" today, and I'm obsessed.

Three or four blessing pats when side-hugging a member of the opposite sex?

Within the first paragraph, virgins are referred to as unicorns of purity. Say no more. Purchase made. And endless laughter will ensue as I laugh at Christians, myself included. I honestly adore people that have the audacity to make Jesus funny. To make fun of people who love Jesus. To make fun of ourselves and each other and laugh, because laughter is remedial and we all could use a dose. 

Buy this book.

It's absolutely gullet-jiggling.

Am I going to hell because I ranted about blinkers, and then gloated about a book that makes fun of Christians?