Surreal.

I've been trying to get inspired. I want to re-vamp my bloggity blog very soon but I need a very epic idea for this drastic transition.

I'd ask you for your input but I know how you guys like to remain anonymous. I have close to 5,000 page views, and only about 10 comments. Blog stalker.

Anyway, I'm thinking my new blog will be titled Certified Ridiculous. I think it's gonna have tales from all of my current gainful employment endeavors ...from spilling coffee on customers at my cafe to the silly things my girls tell me while nannying, and soon enough, there might be some incredibly incredulous factoids about the friendies that frequent the bar I'll be working at. Get excited.

I've been writing a lot, although it doesn't seem like it since I've neglected this poor bloggy of mine. Again, I blame it on trying to get inspired. I apologize dear reader. You know I love you, whoever you are. Stranger.

But anyway, I've been writing a lot. I'm working on a freelance project right now that I'm sort of in love with. I'm fortunate enough to have earned the privilege of writing a Santa Barbara Guide. I'm writing all of the content that will soon be a website that all you friendies can indulge in, and then come visit me in Santa Barbara and I'll take you on one of the adventures I wrote about. So this guide, it's exactly what it says it is, a guide. It's directed at people who are looking to move to Santa Barbara, and of course, tourists. So I'm writing about the myriad of neighborhoods, and beaches, and hot spots to hit if you're only in town for a brief stint. I submitted a couple pages to the boss man and he digs my style, he likes my witty at times nonsensical style, you know how I make up words and such? He loved it. Big fat boulder off my shoulder. I thought I was going to have to do that super professional boring lethargical terrible no one really enjoys reading this kind of a thing. But no! I get to make it fun. And believe me, it's got some inside scoop on this place called Santa Barbara, so you're gonna wanna check it out.

I'm currently, as I type to your eyeballs, sitting in a posh mansion in Montecito, getting paid to write, while I await the awakening of precious 15 month old Max. I'm baby-sitting and these people got some monaaayyyy. Dang. Homegirl Libby's got a rock on her finger that will dazzle the eyeballs right out of your skull. I had to chase mine out from under the dining room table. I'm currently listed on University Sitters and so I get text messages allll the time about baby-sitting gigs in Santa Barbara. It's pretty legit because you just say no if it doesn't work with your schedule and then they find someone else. And it's a bonus when it works out because you then you get paid to write while you sit and wait for babies to wake up.

Life is good. I get to play softball tonight. For the first time in ages. I've been dreaming about joining a league and then an opportunity falls right into my lap. Ages ago, I created a profile on the rec league softball website here in SB and have never heard anything from it. And then last night I get an email, an urgent request for a chick softball player, one who knows how to play and wants to win. So I'm joining a co-ed team where the contenders are all 28-35. Hence I'll be the baby. I'm a little nervous, because I'm a bit rusty. But I think I can hang. And I'm stoked. The park where we're playing is literally around the corner from my house. Hello Jesus. Thank you so much for appeasing all my heart's deepest desires.

And on that note, I've been writing a lot. Back to that. Last week I was on craigslist. Ok, I have a confession. I think I'm addicted to Craigslist. Whoever Craig is, well I'd like to meet him, because he's responsible for these fiending feelings, cravings, scratching their way through my bloodstream. I go on like 20 times a day. Browsing. Browsing everything from childcare, to free, to furniture, to domestic, events, tickets, food/bev/hosp, and of course the writing tabs, both under the gig byline and the job byline. Those are all the purple links on my craigslist page, oh, and there's one more. The other day I had the audacity to click the men seeking women tab. Who let the crazy girl loose?

People put some weird ass stuff on the personal ads section of craigslist. And if you've never clicked the missed connections tab, you gotta try it. Hysterical people with lofty hopes. But hey, I won't fault them for trying. They amuse people like me at the very least, so have at it hopeless romantics.

But anyway, tangential, back to my point. I was on craigslist last week and found a blurb about The Arlington Theater. They needed a writer to do a review on a show that was happening that night. The Arlington Theater is this pretty swanky spot in SB where people like David Sedaris and Ziggy Marley and random fun really awesome people perform and such. I called up the dude from the ad and told him about myself. He didn't even need to see a sample of my work. He gave me the gig and I got two third row center stage tickets for Mr. Gabriel Iglesias. He's a comedian. His tagline is I'm not fat, I'm fluffy. I got to write a review about 5 hispanic comics and I was in the third row for it all. I had a blast. The bossman loved my review and told me he'd "like to use me again." I'd prefer a different choice of words, but I'll take what I can get here. So I get to go to shows for free, sit VIP, and get my words published on a site. It's a win win I'd say.

So I'm writing a guide. I'm writing reviews. And I just landed yet another gig that I found on craigslist.

This one's pretty important and a little bit intense. My title is editorial intern. My pay is a measly penny per word. I'm writing for a New York based site. And guess what it's called? timessquare.com.

Huge.

I write about things happening in New York, from Santa Barbara. I'm a little nervous about how that's gonna pan out. The editor and chief told me he would reimburse me for long distance charges accrued from interviewing artists in New York. I don't even know any artists in New York. This calls for research and time and results in clout and credentials. I'm nervous. We'll see what happens. I have to turn in an article every two weeks. I'll keep you peeps posted.

I moved into my glamorous apartment a little over a week ago. And boy is it legit. I'm one block from the ocean. Literally one block. My apartment is super 70's status and I'm obsessed. We have pink tile in the bathroom with a showroom vanity mirror and the flooring has pink black and gold flecks. The kitchen has a retro refrigerator complete with a guide of things to know about it. I think I might frame the paper instructions. That's how vintage and awesome they are. The living room is huge. I have my own room with giant windows and a vast closet. It's only an 8 unit apartment complex and all my neighbors are oldies. And I love it.

Which brings me to my next topic of interest.

I'm officially a volunteer at Vista Del Monte. It's a retirement community in Santa Barbara. I get to shadow various fitness activities and help out where necessary. This has been a dream of mine since I got my personal training certification. I just want to be a trainer focusing on functional fitness for the elderly. So now I am. I get to do aqua aerobics in onesies and practice with stability balls in the open air fitness classes. We go on walks and do all sorts of precious moments kind of stuff. I'm sooo excited. And I talked to the director about my newly acquired passion for all things video so she took me right over to the activities director and we're looking into getting me a stipend to do some promo/marketing work for the website. And they'd like me to compose a fun dvd for all the residents that they can give to them for Christmas. I love my life.

It's quite full.

But I love it.

And now I want you all to come visit me. And experience this full life by my side.