The Adventurist

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Ticky tack.

 Haunted by the squeals of the tape deck as it rears its shiny head countless times a day. Reeet urr reeeet reeet.

Life now littered with what appear to be condoms in their uncomfortably individualized packages. I promise. I promise they're just lens wipes. Promise.

Morning routine reduced to lassoing my neck with a name tag. Lassoing. Neck. Hello! Nevertheless the children know me strictly as camera-lady.

Time whiled away playing connect the dots with the mosquito bitey flesh wounds accrued over 12 days time. Itchy itch. Scratch scratch.

A distorted game of duck hunt. Clapping incessant insects. Die. Die.

My new home. A small hovel that pretends to be suite.

Eyes become glossy. Twizzling. Dots so tired from staring at virtual monotony so many hours. So many days.

The patient lock accepts the pesky key once again. How many times will I cross this threshold?

My job is magical. Mundanely magical.

Thrilled every moment. Even amidst the mundanity. Sanity. Slipped through the speakers.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Cray Cray.

Remember when I discovered writing contests?

I am unlimited. There are soooooo many possibilities to be heard. So many contests. So many prizes. So many opportunities for publication.

As I sit here in my video suite, capturing to comp yet again, I've composed a list of contests I will enter within the next two months. I just subscribed to Poets & Writers magazine. We're gettin' serious here folks.

I just spent my evening moshing with high school kids as we danced through the ages. I'm beat, but the blood is pumping. My eyes sting and my head is achy, but I live for this.

675 campers. 7 days. 1 twenty minute movie.

The challenge is invigorating.

I am so very undeserving of this title. This title : Video Intern.

And so I settle for "camera-lady."

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Welcome.

Welcome to another heavy heart day. They're far less frequent than they used to be, but nevertheless, they knock at my door more often than I'd like.

I joined in on morning devotionals with Krista and her bakery summer staff ladies. Considering I work alone in a cave that masquerades as the video suite, and I don't have any summer staff or work crew girls of my own, other people thought it might be in my best interest to invest elsewhere. My job calls for really late nights. Devos call for very early mornings. Mashed together they call for a dark and weary Sabrina.

We've been sharing life stories in devos, and when I say we've, I actually mean they've, been sharing their life stories. We all know how I get when it comes time to share my life with a group of girls. Especially three girls who grew up in Christian homes, with phenomenal families, and great communities, and abundant love and laughter. I wait until the last possible moment, which is stupid, I really should learn to just "get it over with" and go first, but alas, I do not. I'm sharing tomorrow and I'm feeling heavy. I don't want to splash my dirty past all over them. I don't want to cry in front of them. I don't want their sympathy.

I think it really just comes down to the fact that I haven't come to terms with the ways that my story has molded me. A lot of times I'm bitter. Resentful. Contemptuous. Disdainful. I hate the things that have happened to me. The things that were done to me.

I wouldn't be who I am today without those things of the past. Right?

I'm feeling dark and negative and lonely.

Welcome to another heavy heart day.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

It's Happening.

Dude.

Day 1.

Week 1.

2 hours 'til campers arrive.

The time is noooowwwwww.

I wept in all camp worship this morning. That's the first time in a long while that the Spirit has moved so deeply within me in the company of so many. I worship with abandon most often when I'm alone.

But today was different.

I was overwhelmed with Christ's presence in the club room. All around me were summer staff and work crew, assignment team and property staff.

As the tears rolled down my cheeks, all I could think about was my job. How unbelievably undeserving I am of this gift that I've received. I get to walk with campers through this week. I get to capture their joy, their giggles, their initial experience with the abounding love of the Lord. And I get to creatively throw all of that into a movie that they will take home with them. It blows me away, that this is my job. I'm so very grateful.

The energy is dripping off chins everywhere. Although the sun is hiding momentarily, the warmth radiates off the hearts of these servants. The summer has arrived.

Welcome.

You may not be hearing from me as often as I'll be swamped with shooting, with editing, with producing.

But I'll try and pop in as often as I can.

Thanks for reading dear friend. Thanks for praying. Thanks for caring.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Indecent Exposure.

Not only did I get dominated in Gladiator jousting 4 times in a row a couple days ago, but I witnessed a man breaking a carnival game one-handed, and a little boy partaking in a misdemeanor of indecent exposure (also know as public urination).

Let me explain.

The jousting was purely to provide entertainment to the innocent bystanders. Little did they know that my center of gravity apparently doesn't exist as I got tossed off the beam four times in a row. Katie rocked my world as she beaned me off balance repeatedly. I bowed down to her once we had removed our padded helmets and relinquished our q-tips to the contenders next in line. I almost played incontinent but for once I held control of my bladder amidst the uncontrollable fits of giggles.

The man. The man with one hand. I mean, he had two hands, but he only held the hammer with one. The strong man broke The Strong Man with one hand. It was that game that you hit the metal plate to see if you can ring the bell at the top. You know the one. Sonia had played just prior to the strong man. According to the names of the different levels of strength on the game, Sonia was a sad sack. The strong man hit the plate so hard he busted the spring. The spring could have caused some detriment to those nearby but alas, all were safe.

We narrowly escaped the flying spring, but we were unable to avoid the visions of naked boy peeing in public. There he was pants around his ankles, firing the hose straight in the air. His mom was mortified but could do nothing but watch, and aim him. Almost lost control of my own bladder in the monotony.

Carnivals make for quality entertainment. Especially when your friends end up in the dunk tank.

Now, here I am in Sisters once again, reading, and writing, and dreaming. As usual. Check out my new retreat center...

Yeah. Magical. Praise God for new friends that reek of Christ's love and hospitality. I'm off to play with Lisa and her family at the river now. My goal is to try and be better about pictures. I know I'm all about the words...and I think I do a fairly good job at painting up the pictures with my words, but I guess they can't ever really do justice. So from now on, I will try and include at lease one picture each blog. Deal?

Ps. I produced my first movie. I filmed the wedding in May and finished the movie two days ago. Shared it with the couple and I'm sharing it with the community on Wednesday. Being affirmed in my summer job daily. Speaking of summer, it starts on Saturday. Prayer is appreciated cuz it's about to crazy up in hurrrrrrrr!!!

Much love to you. Stay tuned.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

When Tires Fly.

I've reached 100 posts. That's kind of a milestone huh?

Anyway, moving on to bigger and better things...like the fact that I had what could be classified as my first near death experience today. I mean, I'm sure I've had many near death experiences, but for the sake of this moment, let's just say this was my first one.

Let me tell you about it.

Krista, our new roommate Katie, and I, were all headed out of camp on a quick trip to town to pick up some groceries. We're moseyin' along, jammin' to Katy Perry's Wakin' Up In Vegas when all of a sudden there's a tire rolling up the mountain next to us, yes, A TIRE... rolling up the mountain... next to us.

It was rather surreal the way it all panned out. Krista's tire flew off her car, rolled up the mountain, and then flew back over the road, to land in a ditch across the street. We were still on the camp road when this near death experience occurred.

There must have been a slew of guardian angels surrounding the car because we literally coasted to a stop. She hit the brakes and we scraped along the road for a bit, but it was quite divine how the tire just sort of slipped off and we rolled to a stop.

Imagine if we had been on the highway.

Imagine if we had been going faster.

Imagine if there had been other cars or bystanders.

This catastrophe could have been so absolutely tragic.

Instead we have a God to praise and a story to tell as we walk away screaming and shouting with laughter, adrenaline shooting through our veins as we go on a silver lug nut hunt.

We hunted for lug nuts prior to discovering that all 5 of them had snapped off. Snapped. Off. How in the world does that happen?

All I have to say is praise Jesus. Not only do I have a phenomenal story to tell but I came out of the incident with a new friend. Her name is Katie Campbell. And she's rad.

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheSmccarley#p/a/u/0/KoFCvbL5AHI

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheSmccarley#p/a/u/0/nin2mDOlpp8

check out a video of the aftermath...please take note of Wes laughing at :45 in the second video.




Monday, June 7, 2010

Belief Makes Things Real.

Today was perfect. Aside from the scratchy red mosquito welts that freckle my legs, today was most delightful. Apparently there's a mosquito issue not only outside, but inside the buildings here at camp. My spotty legs are proof.

Itchy discomfort aside, today was perfect.

It started with a pleasant run through the rolling hills of my backyard. I bounded with the deer and floated with the waves of grass. Eight miles and an uplifted spirit later, I showered and hopped in the car with my good friend Dena, headed on a surprisey lunch adventure.

Some great conversation with some great background music and some great scenery and an hour and some minutes later, we arrived in quaint little Fossil, Oregon.

RJ's steak, spirits, and sports did us well. We sat in the cafe and people watched as the elderly ambled out of their rocking chairs and into our presence for lunch. Fossil is small. Very small. Could almost be considered miniscule. But it provided for heaps of joy on this day.

After lunch, Dena and I headed to The Mercantile. This general store will hold a place in my heart for all time. The staff was most pleasant. The merchandise was perfectly placed in pyramids and everything was individually price gunned. They had everything, from cap guns, to quilts, to pearberry candles, of which Dena and I both souvinired ourselves with. The pearberry candles, not the quilts or cap guns.

From the mercantile we headed to the museum. Another delightful experience. I love looking at old things. I love touching them. Coveting them. Wishing I lived during those times. I'm excited to be old. I love old people. I just love old. Needless to say, the history of this very old town was water to my soul. I've been told I'm an old soul. Another compliment I cherish. I love that I've been described as child-like, as well as an old soul and those are the compliments I hold in my heart.

Back to Fossil.

After the museum we tried to hit up the hardware store but they were on an errand. A note in the door said back at 1. We were there at 1:25 and they weren't back. Love it.

We then headed to Condon, a slightly more developed version of Fossil. About the same population. We perused books and indulged in coffee and then headed back to camp.

Just spent the past few hours processing how much I take God's graces for granted. How I've let the enemy creep in and soil my spirit. I've had a terrible attitude these past few days at work. Terrible. I look back at the ways I've reacted to words and tasks and I feel dirty. I feel saddened. I wish that I could take back all the sassy reactions and disrespectful facial expressions. I've been described as moody many a time and I get defensive but I'm coming to realize that my attitude is so very contagious. My moodiness gets flicked around my work environment like dirty toilet water off the ends of our brushes. And I'm deeply remorseful for the ways I've treated people. My negligence in bringing my servant's heart to work has taken it's toll, and I'm here to repair the damage.

Sitting on the dock out at May's Reservoir in the perfect sunshine, enjoying the bullfrog belches and the whistling leaves, pitched me into a fit of feeling unworthy, unworthy of God's graces. The graces I take for granted everyday.

His grace is so very undeserved and yet it rains down upon us.

His compassions are new every morning.

My heart is full in this moment. My prayer is that it would sustain. That the enemy would flee the fullness. That there would be no room for sullenness, for contempt, for disdain, for bitterness.

Joy is not circumstantial.

I cling to it tightly as this summer approaches and I'm asked to work without end. As I'm stretched to Gumby status. As I'm attacked by demons of Fatigue, Inadequacy, and Technical Difficulty.

We're a week and a half away from the blurry moments that make up Washington Family Ranch Summer Camping and I'm strapping on my holy armor.

God protect me from the evil one. Protect us.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Child-like.

"The little child has nothing to prove. nothing to show, nothing to be proud of. All the child needs to do is receive the love that is offered. Jesus wants us to receive the love He offers. He wants nothing more than that we allow Him to love us and to enjoy that love. This is so hard since we always feel that we have to deserve the love offered to us. But Jesus wants to offer that love to us not only because we have earned it, but because He has decided to love us independently of any effort on our side." - Henri J. M. Nouwen, The Road to Daybreak

I think the greatest compliment I've ever received was that of being referred to as child-like. 

I have nothing to prove. 

I have nothing to show.

I have nothing to be proud of.

I am a child. 

Curious. 

Persistent.

Carefree.

My whole life has been wrapped up in a box of trying to earn love, trying to prove my worth, trying to catch the attention of those outside my box. 

This year I hopped out of the box. 

God's love for me isn't something I have to work for. Something I have to strive for. Something I have to earn. 

There are no conditions. No stipulations. 

All I need to do is receive the love that is offered.

And so I sit. And so I receive.

My dreams and aspirations serve no greater purpose but to honor the Love of my life. 

And so I dream.

And so I aspire.

I'm crafting a website where you can take a little look see at the ways I'm dreaming and aspiring.

Stay tuned for the linkage.