Swine Scare

I haven't blogged in awhile so I figured it was due time. I never finished writing about my Nashville adventures but whatevs..you guys don't care about that anyway right? 

So there's nothing more adventurous than thinking you might have swine flu. It started yesterday about mid day...the achiness, the tight chest, the slow suffocation. I was on my drive to Crane Country Day School where I pick up my girls at 3pm everyday. I realized my shoulders were really tight and my heart was hurting. I'm a pretty healthy individual so I would like to assume that I wasn't having a heart attack. But there was something seriously wrong. I couldn't catch my breath. Within the next couple hours, I spiraled down into this chasm of pain and suffering. My body felt so incredibly weak. I couldn't breathe and then I developed a disgusting cough. 

My friend Josh brought me some Theraflu. It was putrid but it seemed to work. Momentarily.

I knocked out at about 8:30 last night but woke up sweating. Peeled off some layers and then woke up 2 hours later shivering in my bones. I was so cold and all I could think about were the tiny blanketless children in third world countries that were far colder than me...I fell asleep finally, feeling guilty about my undeserving accumulation of blankets and other warm articles of clothing. 

I woke up again at about 6am...feeling absolutely miserable. Everytime I tried to take a deep breath I broke into coughing hysterics. My brain was throbbing out of my skull and my face was sweaty and swollen. Something seriously was not right. I laid in bed aching and on the verge of tears debating on whether or not I should go to Student Health, knowing full well they would probably just prescribe me some vicodin and send me on my merry way.

Laid in bed for a couple more hours and emailed a professor because I definitely had an exercise physiology lab practical this morning...and oh yeah, this is my last freaking week of college and the worst possible time to get sick ever in the history of sickness. Ok I exaggerate but still. Come on.

So I got out of the practical, called into work, and then bailed out on my 4 1/2 hours of massage school that I'm supposed to be going to tonight..

Then I made the decish. I asked my girl Rachel if she could take me by student health to determine whether or not I had swine flu. I felt like death and there was no other option.

I get to the appointment desk and the lady tells me its a two hour wait for urgent care. So much for the "urgent." What if I really did have swine flu and all of those two hours I was breathing on people and touching things and infecting the world. So I waited to talk to the advice nurse to see if I could just go home for the day and be ok to come back to urgent care the next morning when maybe just maybe the wait wouldn't be so horrendous. 

She told me to stay. She took my temperature and I certainly had a fever of 101.7 and she suggested I wait the two hours instead of going home and feeling miserable for the night. Then she threw out the "what if something happens to you in the middle of the night and we aren't here to help you?" line. So I stayed.

Two hours later I'm still lying in the waiting room. Dying. I've looked through all the disgusting disease ridden magazines and probably contracted more parasites in the dr's office than I ever had before I came in. Finally the sweet little old woman comes in, swabs my nose, hands me a can of Gatorade (who knew Gatorade ever came in a can) and a hot blanket and then leaves again.

Thirty minutes later she comes in, tells me I don't have swine flu, that I should take Tylenol to break my fever and then sends me on my way. 

Well gee golly gosh that sure was worth three hours of life. Take Tylenol. Awesome.

But hey, I don't have swine flu!! HOOOORAAAYYYYY!!!!!