Well Behaved Equines.

I haven't made very many scriptural references in this adventurous blog of mine but who's to say I can't start now huh?

This morning at our staff meeting Mr. Rich Ellerd shared a story with us that really resonated in my heart. The chord that was struck down in the depths of this beating heart of mine was that of consumption.

To be consumed.

Consume.

The word plays several different roles as it takes over.

There's that of eating. That of drinking. That of buying. That of using up of a resource. That of completely destroying. And that of absorbing all the attention and energy.

I pick my poison time and time again, and the label on the vial is CONSUME in big, bold, wretched letters.

Whether it's eating, drinking, buying, using up, completely destroying, or absorbing all my attention and energy, it leeches the life right out of me. The claws are in deep. The fangs are embedded. I'd like to think the pain of it is unbearable, but then I find myself tossing back a few more drops of the vile liquid, which would then defeat the description "unbearable" as I so willingly subject myself to the monotony.

That last blog spoke of my lack of inhibition with food. Once upon a time I drank a lot. And not the sugary purple drank that comes from a packet. The drank that slowly but surely rips your life out from under you so you're left with nothing but the broken shell. I often, actually always, buy things I don't need. I don't adore and protect my environment the way I want to. Hence, the completely destroying and the using up part of consumption.

And then there's the head honcho. Absorbing all the attention and energy.

Attention and energy.

If I had a nickel for everything that absorbs all of my attention and all of my energy on a daily basis, I think I'd have at least ten dollars jingling in my pocket. But alas, there is no jingling and I'm left with a list.

A list of all the things that have taken over my thoughts.

Sometimes they're happy. Joyful. Incredibly life-giving. But still consuming.

Sometimes they're putrid. Unsightly. Forlorn. Inexorably life-shattering. And still consuming.

My mom's addiction.
My brother's unhappiness.
My dad's cowardice.
My other dad's unwillingness.
Boys.
Image.
Future.
Grief of loss.
Books.
Knowledge.
Dreams.
Love.
Giving.
Chocolate.
Soda.
Fatigue.
Jealousy.
Money.
Running.
Emptiness.

I am consumed. Always.

And then I hear a verse. A verse that wakes me up from the dream that I dwell in within my mind. A verse that holds my hand and tells me,

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:22-23

Because of His love, I am not consumed. Because of His love, I am not consumed.

I am not consumed, because of His love.

His compassions never fail. His compassions are new every morning. Every morning, He gives me new things to be thankful for. I think it's ok to be consumed by the things that are life-giving. I think it's ok to be consumed with the love of God. Because when He is the recipient of all of my attention and energy, then I think that I can give this life away, as He is calling me to do.

It's finding the eyes, the eyes to see, the eyes to choose what I'm going to be consumed by, what I am going to consume myself with. Is it joyful? Is it healthy? Is it due to God's great love? If not, then I'm tossing it off a cliff, because I'm tired of being consumed by things that pinch off pieces of my life.

What's consuming you dear friend? Please press pause on this fast-paced life you're living and reflect on the things that consume you.

Are they life-giving?

You're in control. You choose where to direct all your attention and energy.

Which direction is the arrow pointing?