a magical transformation.

As I was getting ready this morning I had a sort of real life reckoning as I stared at myself in the mirror. I think in that moment I magically turned into a woman. You know that Britney song, Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman...well I'm no longer in that stage...I did it, I made it to the classification of Woman.

I turned 26 a couple weeks ago and as I have crested the epochal mountain of my 20's, I'm heading down the hill to 30 and that must mean I'm hitting woman-dom. The Justin Timberlake tickets I just purchased would speak otherwise, but the meeting I just had with my principal about the teaching job I just landed say "Hey, I'm a career woman now." Emphasis on the woman.

Yes, I just got a teaching job here in Santa Barbara. Ok, yes, it's a part time PE teacher position but hey, it's a foot in the door nonetheless. I'm getting paid to run around with elementary aged kids. I'd say that's a win for the records.

I woke up two mornings ago with a mysterious slightly swollen, red, and tender area on my left boob. I didn't think too much of it until I coincidentally found a brown recluse about three feet away from my bed about 37 minutes after noticing said area. I nearly had a heart attack. After a loose string of expletives jumped out of my mouth, I immediately googled "Recluse bite symptoms." The warnings that bites aren't often noticed for the first 8 hours was not reassuring as this mysterious redness was only mildly tender (potentially unnoticeable). Then I made the horrid mistake of clicking the images tab.

Good God please don't let that happen to my boob. Please?

After fiercely texting with one of my roommates (heaven forbid I actually call someone in this day and age) he reassures me that the bite would sting and I would be able to see the redness of the venom traveling through a vein. And although there's not a doubt in my mind that the spider I killed was definitely a recluse, 48 hours later the skin has not begun to slough off, and the redness has abated. I think my left boob is safe.

I feverishly emailed my landlady requesting a fumigation session stat, as this is not the first encounter with a recluse; many other black widows have been stumbled upon as well. I have trouble sleeping at night wondering what spiders are crawling across my face and seeking warmth beneath my clothes. It's time to blast these foolz.

Yes, I'm a woman now, but I can still talk like a 14 year old. I can't wait 2 skream my face off @ JT wit my sis in 3 mos. Lolz.

In other news:

I got a paddle-boarding membership.
I'm doing the online dating thing again.
I started a savings account.
I bought Rosetta Stone.
I turned in the final draft of my thesis.
And I think I'm going to the Ventura Fair this week.

So that's cool.