happy as a clam.

Life is good people. Life is good.

I just got hired to be a lead teacher for an after school program...all that means is I'll be responsible for a combo class of about 24 kids for 3 hours a day...assisting with homework and such. Coupling this with my PE teacher title and my fresh new babysitting gig (Emery Age: 5 months) I'll be making enough money to surrender my cloak of servitude that I don each day in the restaurant industry. It's been real Bacara Bistro...and at times it was fun. But don't kid yourself, it was never real fun. Getting to casually walk past celebrities while carrying trays full of sloppy food plates was quite the treat, but it's time to utilize my degree for once.

I dated a doctor for a second and he inspired me to finally start that record collection I've been meaning to for years. Although my dads weren't as present as I would have liked them to be in my most formative of years, they've really stepped it up here in my land of woman-dom. As soon as I made my first record purchase I sent a text to both of them (both bio and ex-step), "I'm looking to find an old school record player, any leads?" They both rose to the occasion with, what's that expression, oh, flying colors. Although, I'm not sure what that means. I digress. Twenty-four hours after diving into this new hobby I accrued two record players, a set of archaic speakers, and two milk crates full of old records. Hip hip hooray.

I recently sent an email to my elderly Asian landlady pleading for permission to get a dog. I buttered her up real nice and am really hoping that flowery email will do the trick in breaking up her no pet policy. It's time for me to have a little friend to pal around with. Moreso I'm looking for an accountability partner in getting my ass out to run regularly. I'm less likely to roll over and press snooze when I have a furry friend that needs to be walked, or run rather.

I magically got a little three day vacay from the dungeons of the Bacara Bistro. As soon as I got the notice I jetted to Riverside for some much needed family time. Although I spent most of my hours there eating egregious amounts of carbs, I did spend an entire day walking around an amusement park full of underwater animals, so maybe I burned a few of those off.

The highlight of that trip was giggling with my nephew and getting sleep punched in the face by my little brother, repeatedly. Man, I sure do love getting sleep punched. After this happened about 6 times, I decided I didn't love it as much anymore and tried to crash out in my sister's bed. But she snores like a bear. And that's not an exaggeration. So then my final refuge ends up being the over-sized armchair posted in front of the giant backlit big-screen with FIFA on the PS3 flashing in my face. My brother in-law falls asleep playing it every night while my nephew sleeps on his chest.

This is the game I play when I go home. Sleep drunk musical beds. Where will my lethargic body finally land for fitful rest. But that's a price I'll gladly pay to hang out with this gentleman:

This picture is silly but I like it. I picture him thinking in his little brain: "Are you there God, it's me Kayden. This strange female is gently kissing my head and taking an obsessive amount of photos of me. Can you help a brotha out and get her off me for a second?"

Life is good people. Life is good.

a magical transformation.

As I was getting ready this morning I had a sort of real life reckoning as I stared at myself in the mirror. I think in that moment I magically turned into a woman. You know that Britney song, Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman...well I'm no longer in that stage...I did it, I made it to the classification of Woman.

I turned 26 a couple weeks ago and as I have crested the epochal mountain of my 20's, I'm heading down the hill to 30 and that must mean I'm hitting woman-dom. The Justin Timberlake tickets I just purchased would speak otherwise, but the meeting I just had with my principal about the teaching job I just landed say "Hey, I'm a career woman now." Emphasis on the woman.

Yes, I just got a teaching job here in Santa Barbara. Ok, yes, it's a part time PE teacher position but hey, it's a foot in the door nonetheless. I'm getting paid to run around with elementary aged kids. I'd say that's a win for the records.

I woke up two mornings ago with a mysterious slightly swollen, red, and tender area on my left boob. I didn't think too much of it until I coincidentally found a brown recluse about three feet away from my bed about 37 minutes after noticing said area. I nearly had a heart attack. After a loose string of expletives jumped out of my mouth, I immediately googled "Recluse bite symptoms." The warnings that bites aren't often noticed for the first 8 hours was not reassuring as this mysterious redness was only mildly tender (potentially unnoticeable). Then I made the horrid mistake of clicking the images tab.

Good God please don't let that happen to my boob. Please?

After fiercely texting with one of my roommates (heaven forbid I actually call someone in this day and age) he reassures me that the bite would sting and I would be able to see the redness of the venom traveling through a vein. And although there's not a doubt in my mind that the spider I killed was definitely a recluse, 48 hours later the skin has not begun to slough off, and the redness has abated. I think my left boob is safe.

I feverishly emailed my landlady requesting a fumigation session stat, as this is not the first encounter with a recluse; many other black widows have been stumbled upon as well. I have trouble sleeping at night wondering what spiders are crawling across my face and seeking warmth beneath my clothes. It's time to blast these foolz.

Yes, I'm a woman now, but I can still talk like a 14 year old. I can't wait 2 skream my face off @ JT wit my sis in 3 mos. Lolz.

In other news:

I got a paddle-boarding membership.
I'm doing the online dating thing again.
I started a savings account.
I bought Rosetta Stone.
I turned in the final draft of my thesis.
And I think I'm going to the Ventura Fair this week.

So that's cool.