Swollen Nodes and Strong Forearms.

I have a swollen lymph node.

It's on the right hand side. It's big. And it's sensitive. And supposedly this means I'm getting sick. Gee golly, I'm so excited.

I am also experiencing a bit of an over-developed forearm. It's also on the right side. It's due to excessive spray bottle sniping. Soon I'm going to create a tally chart on my left arm and record how many times I fire a chemical bottle in one day. It might just blow your mind....what with toilets, showers, mirrors, counters, baseboards, cubbies, walls, light switches, and doorknobs, I might be incriminated for all the bacterial homicide I'm committing.

So those are my dilemmas right now...as for excitement and adventure...welp...I ventured out into the big wide world last night and I'm here in Spokane, Washington right now...as east as you can get before you end up in Potatoland Idaho.

We got off work yesterday a little after 3. Miracle. And Krista and I hit the open road. 6 hours to Spokane. A little over halfway through our trip we stopped at a gas station...one of the most epic experiences of my life. I go inside to take a tinkle and the bathroom is literally one of the most disgusting bathrooms I've ever seen, yet it smelled soooo good. I'm not gonna lie, I lingered as long as I could just to smell it. What?!

By the time I finally pried myself away Krista had pumped and parked and was deciding what kind of treat she wanted and grabbing some caffeine for the rest of the trip. And here's where the fun starts. We meandered through the aisles for approximately 10 minutes scavenging. I ended up with a bag of peach rings, a 32 oz. coke, and a bag of maui onion kettle chips. The 32 oz'er was only .89 cents. I had to do it. Krista ended up with a black coffee and the biggest glazed twist donut I have ever seen. It was literally over a foot long. No exaggeration. We ate pretty much all of it before we reached Spokane and then as soon as we arrived in town we met up with Krista's friends Doug and Ally and hit up the local Shari's and had ice cream and pie. Doug treated at Shari's. Krista treated at the gas station. I consumed about 7,000 calories without spending a dime. Lucky me.

Krista and I have been joking about being fat kids for awhile now. Let's talk a little bit about gluttony. The word just sounds foul. And it's definitely my vice. Let's just say I love food. And Krista does too. So we eat. Together. A lot. But we run too. So we try to justify it that way but it's still not ok...here are a few qualities about us that might constitute "fat kid syndrome."

You know you're a fat kid when you give directions according to what fast food restaurants are nearby.

You know you're a fat kid when you wake up in the morning after a night of gas station binge eating, and all you want is one more little tootsie roll.

You know you're a fat kid when you eat your dessert before every meal to make certain that you have room for it.

You know you're a fat kid when you eat a glazed donut the size of a small child.

You know you're a fat kid when you drink the equivalent of three cans of coke in one sitting.

You know you're a fat kid when you find that you have chips and peach rings in your mouth at the same time.

You know you're a fat kid when there's a basket of free candy on the gas station counter and you take seven, rather than one.

You know you're a fat kid when you eat an entire boysenberry scone the size of your head and then start munching on your neighbors.

And these are just from this weekend. More to come.

Life is good. Food is good. Go indulge. Eat a donut.